Damn, I actually posted something last month. Well, I'll be damned. Let's see, what can I post today? Oh, I know! Last month, on the 24th, we had senior boat cruise and that shit was hella fun, man! The boat wasn't that great to look at, but it had 3 decks: on the top one they was takin pics; on the middle on they had tables and food and junk and seats and shit; and on the bottom floor was the dance floor and also some more food and shit. The music was hella sucky for like the first 20 mins of the thing. They ass was up there bumping Dilemma with Nelly and Kelly. Oh hell nawh! I went down there to request a song right, just to find out that the damn DJ was using CDs instead of records. I was like what the fuck?! I was yelling at him but his ass ain't here a word I said with his smoked out Beenie-Man lookin ass! I swear upon everything tho he looked like a straight up smoked-himself-retarded bum they paid $100 to come and put some damn CDs on at the party. And the worse part of it was that the CDs would start skippin in the middle of a good ass song and then it had to be skipped. Mutha fucka! They was playin "Back Dat Azz up" right, and yup I was out there dancin, havin a good ass time, and the song just start skippin. Everybody was hella mad! They start cussin and throwin shit at the DJ then he changed the song to some bullshit. Hella people sat down too, including me, until his ass played "Get Low". That's my shit, right there man! I dance to that song everytime I hear it. For the most part tho, the music was coo. Now for the dancin, everybody was freakin! EVERYBODY! Includin the security guards! The dance floor was in 2 parts: if you looked to the right, you saw the straight, buck wild freaks and on the left, it was like kinda the nerdy and braniac kids. On the freakside, damn near everygirl had they shoes off, doubled over, they foreheads damn near touchin the floor while they grindin. I noticed maybe 4 dudes circlin the floor, tryna dance wit every girl. Most folks was freakin with the same person from the time the music started til it ended. Me, tho, I was right up in the middle, lookin into the circle they made on the freak side wit girls goin outta they damn mind! They dry humpin on the dance floor! I know a few folks busted a nut that night! I even saw a few peoples givin lap dances, both dudes and females and I knew all of them too. A few fights almost broke out too, all between girls, but they was coo, until after the cruise that is. After they left, they went to a parkin lot and fought and one girl that I know of got a big ass knot on her forehead. They both got suspended cuz the school found out and then they supposedly fucked it up for us to bring guests. I ain't sure tho. And that's about it, but it was hella fun. I can't wait til prom, cuz.

DAMN!! It's been two months since my big ass been in here! HA! Oh well. Not missing anything really. I got tired of myspace and my cuz emailed this to me and I found it funny so I figured I post it here. So here it is. P.S. the bold ones are the ones I find most hilarious.

OK, that's it. Bu bai now.

I took my pictures on Tuesday and it was fun. My lil profile piccy thingy is a proof from the session. I had fun. The picture lady was funny and kept my ass laughin which had me hella cheesing the whole time. It was hella funny though when this white guy was walking through the damn room and his ass tripped over the cord and almost fell. His ass woulda fell flat on his face. HA! And I think that's about all imma say cuz I really don't have nothing else to add. I been so damn busy on myspace I forget all about xanga and shit. Yeah, oh well.

Bi now.

Oh my frickin gosh! Gee that sounded fuckin weird. Anywayz, yesterday was so frickin fun! Me and my moms went down to Oakland cause my little cousin, Kaytai, was having a little graduation party. He only graduated from elementary school, but that's still an accomplishment all on its own. I've known people who have repeated the 2nd grade. But back to my story. It was his party and pretty much everyone came through: My aunties Connie and Bernadette, my cousins Tashed, Louis, John, Rose, and Maiya, and then there was my mom, me, my uncle Ralph, my auntie Belinda (Kaytai's parents) and then Kaytai's brother and sister, Naurice and Lariiyaa. Well, actually, Naurice ass bounced talking about "This party ain't important. It's not like anyone's getting married." And his punk ass said that to his little brother, who is just 11. That hurt my damn feelings. He took off with his boys and didn't come home til after I left, around 10pm. Auntie put his ass on punishment, said he can't go nowheres and couldn't use the phone, then his black ass turned around and pulled some shit, right. He had one of his friends up in his mama house and ain't asked or nothing. She didn't know about it til she got home then she made him make his friend leave and then after that he had his punk ass locked up in his room like some little bitch! I swear that boy get on my damn nerves sometime. You know, I didn't come here to write that. Oh well. What I really came to write here though was what me and Maiya did yesterday. At first, we were in the house, sitting with all the females, talking and carrying on, about whatever came up: us as kids, my grandmama, my brother girlfriend (wit her stank ass), just whatever. Yall know how females do. Well, after a while, a long while, me and Maiya finally got a little restless and decided to go outside. At first we just playing with the younger kids, then we wanted to sit up in my mama car. I sent Louis upstairs and he brought the keys down to me and we was just chilling up in the car, talking shit, finally able to cuss now that we wasn't around a bunch of adults. I had brought my freaky-deaky book with me cause I wanted  to make sure I wanted to have something to do, or at least read, so my ass wouldn't get bored. Maiya was up in the driver seat and my silly ass had left the damn keys in the ignition. Neither one of us was paying attention at first. The kids were playing and trynna get in the car. We was locking them out and stealing they hats, just goofy off right. Then Maiya, wit her crackhead ass, started up the damn car and all the kids jumped away from the car. We was inside, cracking up. Then me and Maiya looked at each other, both thinking we should just take off. I wanted to hella bad, but I couldn't let her ass drive my mama car. She was only 15 and she ain't have no permit or nothing. And also we ain't have no permission. We were sitting in the car for like 3 hours, starting it up. I was in the driver seat by then and my crazy ass was up there driving down the street and putting it into reverse and parking again. Maiya ass tried to bail out on me and I had to snatch her ass back into the car. She was trynna get my ass to go around the corner, but I wasn't that damn bold to do that shit with all them black women sitting upstairs, all of them gonna whoop my ass if I did that shit, so I didn't. The consequences had my ass real fearful. Damn this shit is hella long. Anywayz, around 8, we took our ass upstairs to see what they was doing up there and we found out that the whole damn time we was out there, they wasn't paying attention to a damn thing we was doing. They didn't even really acknowledge our assess when we came through the door. We coulda did hella shit wit the car and they woulda never known. Damn, oh well. So, anywayz, after about 20 minutes, we went and got back into the car. We figured now would be our chance to do this if we was really wit it. After about 10 minutes of calming my nerves, I started up the car, waiting about 30 seconds to see if anyone was gonna come out and look, and then I pulled away from the curb going down the street. We was busting out laughing! If yall hadda saw us, yall woulda swore we was high as hell. I was going slow at first, cuz I ain't wanna hit nothing, ya know. And as soon as my ass hit that corner going to the left I started to gun the engine. I was tripping hella hard! I couldn't believe my fat ass done pulled off in my mama car, blood. I just couldn't! And down around the other side, I was doing only about 35 to 40 miles cuz, like I said I didn't wanna hit nothing. We hit this big ass pothole and we screamed and then started dying laughing. Then my ass came to one of them roundabout type things where you gotta go around to the right. I just knew my ass was gonna hit something so I let them 2 cars go before me then my ghetto ass made a quick left cutting through the damn roundabout. I was laughing hella hard! I was all swerving and shit! Then we were coming down the hill, back to where my mama parked and I slowed up and just sat there for a minute to see if anyone came out. I had that shit lined up though. You wouldn't have ever guessed that I drove the car, but what was bad was that I wanted to do that shit again! I gunned outta that parking spot and this time my ass was doing about 40 off the bat. I got around and hit the other side of the street, going damn near 65. We hit that same damn pothole, but I wasn't tripping. We got to the roundabout again and wasn't nobody coming so I went right through. I wish I hadn't cuz this guy was all up on my ass. I slowed up on the bumps and his ass damn near hit us! Twice! I was fucking scared outta my mind but I was not finna speed down the damn hill and miss the parking spot. I was just gonna pull right in so his ass needed to get up off me and go the fuck around which he eventually ended up doing and then I pulled into the park, but I was hella far from the curb and shit and I was also in the frickin driveway of the house we had parked in front of. All of a sudden we started smelling something burning and we had also noticed that the damn wheels was squealing and shit when I pulled up. The fucking parking brake wasn't all the way down! I stopped the fucking car right where I was and turned it off. Less than 30 seconds later, my mama come through the damn screen door of the house, down the stairs towards us and we still had on the damn seatbelts. My eyes were on her the entire time while I took that shit off and kept it outta sight while it retracted. My heart was beating so fucking fast. My mama was hella mad! She asked what the fuck I was doing and I said that I was just going back and forth in the parking spot. Yeah the fuck right! She made us get outta the car and wait on the curb while she reparked the car. Then she made us go upstairs and everybody was shaking they heads at us. My mama gave me that evil eye and made auntie Connie and Tasheda get up and leave. They asses went home. I went to go sit down in Kaytai room cuz my knees was shaking hella bad. But nothing really happened after that. I know that my mama know that I went much farther than that damn parking spot, but I sure as hell ain't gonna confirm it. And now Imma go cuz her ass is walking around and I don't want her ass reading over my shoulder cuz she gotta bad habit of doing that mess. Bi

Currently Reading Chocolate Flava : The Eroticanoir.com Anthology see related

HI! I back. Today, I will post a limerick. Why you ask? CAUSE I CAN! But really, I bought a limerick book with over 1000 limericks for 4 bucks. Yay! And I found a limerick that I found particularly funny and I wanted to share it, so ENJOY IT OR PERSIH.....or not. Whatever you fancy.

And FYI, the book that I'm currently reading is a dirty book, a really good dirty book. I think one of these days I'll get around to typing one up and posting on here and hopefully I won't get all banned and shit. But then again, who cares? Not me, not really anywayz. I guess that's it for right now cuz imma about to leave to go and visit my cousin in Berekely. Bi now.